What Has Become of
The Law of Attraction?

Recently I've learned of the benefits of wild animal urine in two different but related contexts. The first one concerns deer urine, specifically doe urine, as an attractant to bucks. This is perfectly legal product to use for hunting. I first heard of it from a lawyer friend who had a client who was charged with importing the stuff illegally. The charge was dropped. Deer urine comes into the country all the time and is a multi-million dollar a year industry in the states. The second one is coyote urine and this one is used as a repellent for raccoons. Try trapping a raccoon and removing it from your house at three a.m. and driving for an hour to set it free. Or, spread a little coyote urine around instead. What you would rather do? Just google 'predator pee' and see all the sites and products available. One for attraction and one for repelling; two sides of the same coin.

So now I'm wondering, is this what the law of attraction has come to? Wild animal pee is now the main ingredient in ridding ourselves of pests AND creating a more satisfying outdoors experience? I sure hope not. What is the upper (or lower) limit to this kind of product? Can you imagine if unscrupulous folks get a hold of this concept and market it to a gullible public? Now of course the first thing they would have to do is get rid of the whole 'pee' association and stick to more acceptable secretions such as perspiration. Doing so would just open up the market.

Ads such as "For a limited time only; own pieces of Bill Gates' favourite old T-shirt; Order your scrap now. When you get it, rub it on your head and have a six digit income in three weeks" or how about "Warren Buffet wore this suit jacket to every major league ball game he attended in 1998 claiming it was his lucky coat. We've obtained this and many of his out of fashion neck ties, lovingly shredded them into strips of cloth and made them available to you for this special offer. You will be proud to wear or touch any one of these as Warren himself did while you watch the cash roll in".

Better yet, get rid of the whole secretion idea altogether. This will really open things up. Here's one that comes to mind; "Get your very own sliver of the actual copy of the New York Times article about the sub-prime mortgage fiasco read by George Soros when he realized that indeed the economy WAS going down the drain. Avoid disappointment and the cataclysmic effects of the coming recession by ordering today".

It's not that big of a stretch. You see, wild animals don't have any stuff. They don't have clothes and houses and SUV's and toys and investments. They can't even talk. So they HAVE to use pee. As sophisticated humans we only need branding and labelling and movie stars to attract and repel. Get me the very soup tin that Diablo Cody opened for her lunch yesterday and I will write the next Bruckheimer/Speilberg blockbuster for you. Obviously I'm going to need John Grisham's first laptop to write on so, giddyup.

Maybe the Law of Attraction deserves better..